The Inciting Incident is a literary term used to describe the point in a story where an event or decision causes conflict or changes circumstances that the main character must overcome in order to become the hero. Everything up to and until that inciting moment is backstory; everything after is “the story.”
Some infamous inciting incidents:
- When Andy is carving his name on his cell wall and chunk of concrete falls down – Shawshank Redemption
- When Frodo picks up the ring his uncle Bilbo has left for him – Lord of the Rings
- When the tornado picks up Dorothy’s house and drops it in the land of Oz – The Wizard of Oz
All three of these characters are never the same after these incidents. They either choose, or are forced to, begin a journey or process that will change them and their trajectory forever.
Why are they important?
Inciting incidents are important because, without them, we don’t or won’t ever begin the journeys that will shape who we are to become. If we’ve learned anything over 25 years of marriage, it is that as human beings, we usually seek what is comfortable and familiar, and by doing that, we aren’t challenged, we don’t grow, and our stories become stale and uninteresting.
One of our favorite authors, Donald Miller, wrote:
“If you watched a movie about a guy who wanted a Volvo and worked for years to get it, you wouldn’t cry at the end when he drove off the lot, testing the windshield wipers. You wouldn’t tell your friends you saw a beautiful movie or go home and put a record on to think about the story you’d seen. The truth is, you wouldn’t remember that movie a week later, except you’d feel robbed and want your money back. Nobody cries at the end of a movie about a guy who wants a Volvo. But we spend years actually living those stories, and expect our lives to be meaningful. The truth is, if what we choose to do with our lives won’t make a story meaningful, it won’t make a life meaningful either”
If you’re the kind of person who wants to look back on the story of your life and say, “now that was worth living,” then you’re going to want to look for the inciting incidents that present themselves. Sometimes they happen to you whether you’re looking for them or not. Other times, you can make a choice to step through the door. Either way, once it happens, there’s no going back!
3 of Our Inciting Incidents
I love you.
Rick was in New York and I was in Portland. We had starting writing letters to each other (actual paper and envelope letters with real stamps!), and eventually making very expensive long-distance phone calls. We had already decided that I would fly to New York for Christmas, so we could see each other again since it had been over a year… then Rick would, in the springtime, ship his things back to Portland, buy a road bike, and ride across the States back to Portland to live. Good plan. All the way up until the night in November when he called, we talked for over an hour, and then he called back to tell me he loved me. I told him I loved him, too [INCITING INCIDENT]. Within four days, he chucked the plan and raced immediately back to Oregon. We were married about six months later.
We’re pregnant, home-owners, and unemployed.
Of course, any time you welcome a new member of the family, there are going to be changes. When we found out our second was on the way, we also found out – the same day– that we had closed on our first house, and Rick quit his job to come work with me out of our home. So that inciting incident was a mix of choices we could control, and events that were totally out of our control. A lot changed after that day for sure.
Bye bye stuff, hello story.
Our most recent inciting incident was a choice we thought about and labored over for more than a year. We began selling, giving away, or Goodwilling most of our furniture and stuff, so when our youngest left for college this last fall, we could move our homebase to our parent’s home and take our business on the road as much as possible. Saying goodbye and driving away from Bend, Oregon was one of the saddest, scariest moments! Were we doing the right thing? Is this dream of working mobily and building L+W completely ridiculous? We didn’t know, and still don’t actually, but we drove away anyway. And, now we’re struggling through our next round of growth and change, so our story can be even better.
What’s Your Story?
A life worth living, and a story worth hearing, will include inciting incidents. When they happen, and they do in everyone’s life eventually, will you try to hide from it, or will you leap into the adventure and overcome?
